Imagine this: your boss just emailed a 30-page report, the coffee has gone cold, and your brain is screaming for anything but spreadsheets. Enter The MindFuck Machine — the only “focus aid” that actively undermines your concentration while pretending to help. Pair it with your favorite buzzing companion, set your intensity, duration, and patterns, and let it randomly surprise you while you try to look productive, or while your teammates are screaming in your ears because you inexplicably missed a sure kill shot...
Each buzz is a reminder that true focus is overrated and distraction, frankly, is an art form. By the time you finish your first cycle, you’ll either be mesmerized, mildly panicked, or laughing at yourself — or all three.
Welcome to controlled chaos, human-style.
⚠️ Extremely Serious Legal Warning (but not really... BETA TESTING PHASE, so read it anyway)
- By continuing beyond this point, you acknowledge that you are a fully grown adult with free will, basic common sense, and at least a vague understanding of cause and effect.
- This project does not provide medical advice, psychological guidance, spiritual enlightenment, or guarantees of enlightenment through vibration.
- Batteries and/or emotional support animals not included.
- If you choose to attach, activate, or otherwise involve hardware with sensitive parts of your anatomy, that decision is entirely yours.
- The creator of this project is not responsible for unexpected sensations, poor life choices, sudden self-reflection, giggling fits, or moments of “maybe I should rethink this”.
- If something hurts, feels wrong, or starts making your soul leave your body — stop immediately.
- Use responsibly. Eat your vegetables. Stay hydrated. Lubricate. Know your limits.
- And please, for everyone’s sake, don’t sue over something you did voluntarily while clicking a button labeled “Start Vibration”.
- Thanks for reading, good chat.
How to Use It Without Pretending You Don’t Know Why You’re Here
- Pick your favorite buzzing companion and make sure it’s fully charged. If it can’t vibrate, it’s going to have a very boring day.
- Fire up the Intiface Central application and pair it with your Bluetooth device. If pairing feels mysterious, that’s normal. Technology enjoys drama.
- Check the Server Address. If you don’t know what that means, don't panic — the default setting is probably correct.
- Click Connect and confirm that your device appears in the connected devices list. You can give it a quick test buzz if reassurance is required.
- Place your device somewhere… effective. There are many options. You already know where they are.
- Set your Intensity range. This controls how strong each buzz will be.
- A random value between your chosen minimum and maximum will be used each time.
- Example: 25% to 100% means every buzz is a surprise somewhere between “pleasant reminder” and “oh wow, okay.”
- Set your Duration range. This decides how long each buzzing episode lasts.
- Example: 5 to 120 seconds means each cycle will randomly last anywhere from a brief tease to a full commitment.
- Tip: long enough to matter, short enough to leave you wanting more.
- Set your Resting time. This is how long the device waits before the next surprise.
- Choose something that keeps you guessing without letting you forget it exists.
- Anticipation is part of the experience.
- Choose your vibration pattern(s).
- You can select one or several.
- If you pick more than one, a random pattern will be chosen each time.
- Variety builds character.
- Hit START VIBRATION and go about your business. You are now officially distracted.
- To stop the current session hit STOP VIBRATION. It might take a while to get to the stop command - don't panic. To stop the buzzing immediately, hit STOP/DISCONNECT, you will then have to reload the page to start over again — but at least it will remind you to lock your door next time.